I caved.

I was going to be a good girl and go to my first week's lecture instead of going to the funeral of my art teacher. But I was talking to some friends today on facebook, and the more we talked about it, the worse I felt for being two hours away. I made the decision to come home. unfortunately, it wasn't a very composed decision. I cried a lot.

I was out of credit, so had to ask the residential manager if I could borrow her phone so I could call home to let my parents know - during which I completely lost vocal control, and my intended message of "Mum, I'm coming home to go to the funeral tomorrow, because I really need to." turned into "muh ah'm comin' 'ome togoto t'funeral t'morew. ahhhhhh"
I haven't often failed at speaking so spectacularly, but then, I've never had to deal with going to a funeral before.
Then, after that, I had to go to the course people to let them know I'd be missing tomorrow's workshops and lectures, during which I cried again, and I was at the point of being so upset that I just didn't care that people were staring at me trying to speak and ending up wailing.

I think part of the reason I'm so upset about it all, is that I really AM overloaded. I just can't really deal with this properly on top of everything else, and it's just resulting in lots of tears. I had to pull the car over while I was driving home, to try to regain some control of myself. I didn't succeed very well.

I'm now at home, in bed, with a shitty headache, but hey, at least I know my cat missed me. He's not left my side at all since I got home.